Wednesday, March 02, 2005


Readers, if there are actually any of you out there,

T’is a sad day. After a lot of thought, I’ve decided too call it a day. Fishballs is saying goodbye.

Numerous reasons have made me think that this is the right thing to do.

1. Who reads this?

2. I’ve become addicted to other Blogs and it’s, quite frankly, not right. I’m currently reading ‘Brenda’s’ Blog daily and keeping up to date on her life. The problem of her daughter/granddaughter custody malarkey is not yet resolved. Sad. She’s going through ‘the change’ at just 35, and from a recent picture, I’d say she lives in a trailer park. She’s also the most frequent ‘commenter’ in her own Blog’s comments section. As for Anthony’s Blog, smart little Anthony had the sense to quit Blogging before he got in too deep. The James Dean of Blogging, he left us too soon with his last post on February 16th that simply read “moneymoneymoneymoney” Do I need to go on? Do you care about these people? No. Do I? Yes. That’s wrong and it’s Blog addiction gone too far.

3. The hardback edition of Fishballs: A Blogger's Blog will never be on the shelves, let alone in time for f*cking Christmas. The Guardian didn’t give a f*ck when I e-mailed them twice to let them know about my Blog. Even Gilbert Koh (remember him? My first official reader? The poet from Singapore?) decided there wasn’t enough poetry here for him to justify putting a link to my Blog on his. Well, how do you like this, Gilbert Koh? –

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Gilbert Koh,
Stinks like shit!

4. As if the above is not reason enough, I’m addicted to my own Blog. Not reading it, not even writing it, merely watching the “0 comments” stay the same and the hits counter at the bottom going up by 1 every time I check for other visitors.

5. Can I stop now?

Ok, that’s me and my reasoning. I’m sorry, but this is it. The end. I ask you only one thing, Readers. If you’re actually out there, please do leave a comment. You needn’t say much, but just something that tells me that ‘Yes, Fishballs, you had readers’ Ok? It’s not a lot to ask. Please?

Right then. I wish every last one of you (or even just the one of you) all the best. As you surf the Net, the ol’ internet super highway, spare a thought for Fishballs once in a while. “Destined to be the great online social commentator of our day, taken away from us so soon, what would Fishballs make of this?” you'll ask yourself as you stumble across the latest news. Hmmm…

Fishballs leaves you now, so spare a thought for what might have been. Take care, sweet readers, and carry me in your hearts. There’s a REAL world out there, one that doesn’t end in .com. Go outside, smell the world, taste it, live your lives. But remember to Blog about it, 'cause I’ll be reading.

I thank you and good night.


Blogger Jackson B said...

I was reading.

9:21 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tis the end of an era. The Fishball is dead. It's a shame but only a shame. Life goes on. But just remember this Fishball.

All of the stars are fading away,
Try not to worry,
You'll see them someday.
Take what you need,
and be on your way.
and stop crying your blog out.


12:59 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isnt it sad that these woodlice only come out of the gutter to leave a comment on the death of something beautiful


oh... I;ve just realised that my ilk is worthy of similar castigation.

Goodbye fishballs, hello oblivion -
silence is nice, but silence can stop you from doing all the things in life you'dlike too....

Fuckin hell fishballs! Would Morrisey give up - no he wouldnt - keep striving big boy

ever yours
a Nick Cope fan ;-)

7:14 pm  
Blogger Jackson B said...

hey! I come out of the woodwork when I'm pissed!

and on that note - who cares if they're not reading? Its for you, fish boy, only for you. Fuck the world.
Its full of wankers who give you scabies.

10:08 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Spite is not very nice. Although it may be funny. Would you like to read a blog about how nobody reads said blog? A blog like that is the online equivalent of masturbating in public.
Gilbert Koh, Literary Editor - The Guardian

7:39 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

G'day Fishee, it's Paul Hogan here of Crocodile Dundee fame. Jist appened upon yer blog and saw yer photie and wuz wondrin if ye'd fancy some crocodile wrestlin' with me down at my summer place? Your ripped geezah!

7:45 pm  
Blogger Gilbert Koh said...

Well, here I am. The genuine Gilbert Koh from Singapore.

Uh .... I guess it's too late to offer to link your blog from mine now?

5:31 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a fucking crying shame! I just stumbled onto this blog using the button on my mates blog - NEXT BLOG - and this is some funny shit! Funny as! Come back Fishballs!!!!

3:35 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the funniest blog I've read in a long time

3:09 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is this guy for real?

3:09 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does blogging get any better than this?

3:09 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I almost died laughing reading this blog!! Almost died laughing, I tell you!

3:10 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to say gold dust, but that somehow doesn't seem to really express the comedic genius of this site.

3:11 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There I was, wondering how to cook some ball shaped fish I found at the bottom of the freezer, when my internet perusal brought me here! That's the best internet/cookery mix up ever!!! Long live Fishballs.

3:13 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's better to have loved Fishballs and lost, than never to have loved Fishballs at all.

3:14 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read this everyday and I'm never disappointed. You read it once, it's hilarious. You read it everday, it gets better each time.

1:57 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm thinking of having an extract from this Blog tattooed onto my back. Any suggestions as to which post would make the best body art?

1:58 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey man! Cool idea, I'd say just get the whole lot. Rad!

1:59 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just had a baby girl, I named her Ella Jane Fishballs Smith. I'm so proud of her. Fishballs, if you're still out there somewhere, I want you to know, she will forever bear your name and it fills me with pride.

2:03 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh man!! I just saw a pirate copy of the new Star Wars film. There's so many sly references to Fishballs in it it's untrue!!

2:04 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This'll make a great premise for an episode of Quantum Leap, if they ever brought it back...

Dr. Sam Beckett leaps into Fishballs to try and put right what once went wrong. i.e. Keep Fishballs writing. His funny little hologram side kick Al could be his guide as to how best promote an up and coming new Blog. Fishballs would win an award and the hardback of "Fishballs: A Blogger's Blog" would be out for Christmas. There'd be a blue flash and Sam would 'leap' off to save the day in some other historical event of importance, probably during the post war years in America, possibly to do with race or some kind of discrimination. Nice.

2:12 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is there any truth in the rumour that the film rights to Fishballs were sold for a quarter of a million quid?

2:17 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard that somewhere but I don't think it's true. That'd be a film I'd queue to see, but I doubt Fishballs would accept such a low ammount.

2:20 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can you marry an internet site?

I heart fishballs

3:10 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm expecting Fishballs's child. Anyone want to bid for the exclusive rights to my story and a share of any future scribblings from the little one?

7:46 pm  
Blogger natalie335trae said...

damn good blog, check out mine, comments always welcome!

1:19 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wake and I want to eat fishballs.....Its okay? I am not a gay. However I am gravely upset that the internet is slagging me balls online. I hope this computer malarky isnt too permanent and yis all will leave me good life alone.
We deserves better.
slurpz etc

5:19 am  
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Blogger nope said...


I'm sorry for being intrusive in to your blog. But I am Melissa and I am a mother of two that is just trying to get out of an incredible financial debt. See my hubby is away in Iraq trying to protect this great country that we live in, and I am at home with our two kids telling bill collectors please be patiant. When my husband returns from war we will beable to catch up on our payments. We have already had are 2001 Ford repossessed from the bank, and are now down to a 83 buick that is rusted from front to back and the heater don't work, and tire tax is due in November.

I'm not asking for your pitty because we got our ownselfs into this mess but we would love you and thank you in our prayers if you would just keep this link on your blog for others to view.

God Bless You.

Melissa K. W.
To see my family view this page. My Family

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5:19 pm  
Anonymous Fishballs Is My Dream Date said...

Pah @ Melissa K. I can't even afford one car. Suck it up.
Learn to spell too. Jobs are easier to come by when you're literate.

11:01 am  
Blogger blaze said...

I really enjoyed you cooking gas website. I also have a site about cooking gas Please take a look. I hope you will find it interesting

5:48 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fishballs, where are you now? Life just ain't the same since you went away. W H E R E A R E Y O U ! ! ! ? ? ?

10:35 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Skippy pa dee do da, skippy dee day, myoh my, what a wonderful day...don't mind me just passsing through this dirty ol' town. Darn it, where did all the sheep go???

7:33 pm  
Anonymous Belle De Jour said...

Hummmm Wish Id seen this months ago. Bitter man, very bitter man. You give Webloggers a bad name.

9:19 pm  
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